Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I went from natural to putting a relaxer back in my hair…
“I want a perm.” Those were the words I uttered in 2012 after being relaxer free for two years. My hair was long, I was pretty good at doing twist outs and fro-hawks, my edges were full and I got compliments every day on my thick beautiful crown, but all I could think about was that creamy crack. It just kept calling me.
Here’s the part of the blog where I get extremely transparent.
In 2010, I began my natural journey for all the wrong reasons. Fresh off of a breakup, locked inside of a stressful career, and I just took out my second set of Senegalese twists. I was going through some thangs. The big chop was the next sensible move, right? Right (WRONG). So, with no salon consult, no idea what was next, not a minute of YouTube tutorials under my belt, I cut off my relaxed ends in my grandmother's bathroom. I wasn’t ready. I WAS NOT READY. If I didn’t need a therapist before, I surely needed one now. I panicked and slapped on every natural hair product I’d just bought 30 minutes ago from a poorly stocked pharmacy aisle. It was bad, soooo bad. My sister gave me a month before I went back to a relaxed state, my mama’s words comforted me but her eyes said, “This is bad”, her eyes were right.
Fast-forward to a few months of extensive research and trial and error, I was getting pretty comfortable with caring for my hair but I still hadn’t embraced the other transition that was taking place on my journey to natural. **Disclaimer If no one has ever told you, allow me to be the first: Your natural journey is more about what happens on the inside of you than what happens with the hair on your head. 85% mental, 15% physical.** That's the part I wasn’t ready for. My mind had to shift, I had to redefine beauty standards that were set by someone else before me that never included hair that looked like mine. I had to get acquainted with who God made me to be with no fillers or additives and to be honest, it was tough. Imagine that: being so used to being modified that you have to learn to love yourself naturally. I didn’t think I was ready to do that work. So, after 2 years, countless tutorials, picking up a product addiction that wreaked havoc on my bank account, 3 broken combs and a head full of beautiful kinks and coils, I got a relaxer.
I stayed relaxed for 8 months before I began my transition back to natural. I missed myself. I missed my hair that could reach towards the sun or be pressed to flow like water. I knew who I was with a relaxer, but I had to get to know who I was without one. This time, I was ready.
On the next “Story Time with Dr. J” we’ll talk about my journey to natural the second time around.
Do you have a natural hair journey? Feel free to share your story below!